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Jolly Roger H3 of the Tampa Bay Metro Area Run #400 Saturday, August 2nd, 2008 |
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Hare BlessingX
It’s a Pirate’s Life for me
Led by Dab and GRC
We’re 400 trails old
Our trails never grow cold
We’ll have 400 more, you see!
Dab’s got more hashes than most.
But no, he’s not one to boast.
In Tampa, St. Louis and Nevada
He’s led a Hashing Armada!
And been hashing from coast to coast!
GRC is Jolly Roger’s Wench
Who you’ll never find sitting on the bench
But she’s bitching and moaning
And the whole pack is groaning
It’s our thirst for her trail that she’ll quench
Bless these Hares
Bless this trail
400 Hashes
From January ‘03
If we die on trail
Then that’s where we’ll be
A toast to the flounder
And a toast to the trail
A toast to his wench
And we’ll follow their tail
Coppus no catchus
Doggus no biteus
Heatus no stroke us (STROKE)
Coitus non Interruptus!
Hash Trash
Jolly Roger 400th
Hash
Hares: Dabadoo and Gay Rodeo Clown
A large
group of smiling hashers gathered at the Beal’s parking lot and many yellow
special event tank tops were bartered for sexual favors. GRC was soon
exhausted, so I took over dispensing the sexual favors as she continued to
hand over the tank tops. Camel Jockey returned for another spanking, he met
up with Harelip Dogg once again behind the bushes. While Oxymoron stood by
Just Jimmy, I asked Just Jimmy what the top three hash names he would chose
if given that opportunity for his naming. His answer was “Casual Friday,
Harelip Dogg and Oxymoron.” Way to suck up Jimmy! We’ll be sure to get him a
fine hash name yet! As I had time, I looked around for new shoes for late r
accusations and spied Toss My Greek Salad’s brand new street-ho tennis shoes
that zipped up to the back of her knees. Sweet! The last time I saw
shoe-boots like that, I couldn’t get them off GRC’s calves with my teeth.
The hash aerobics led by our fearless RA and the chalk talk went off like
clockwork; I was impressed. There was no waiting around this time for on-out
as Harelip cried “On-out you wankers! Unless anyone needs chalk!” Doh! I was
sure this would be a foretelling of Circle execution after Trail.
Someone needed to call WAD in at Circle for having technology on trail. Not
only did he engage the GPS on his telephone, he watched porn videos and
ordered sex toys through the internet. He also hit a button and a condom
flew out of it, letting us know he was ready for sex on trail. We ran away
as fast as we could and came upon a nice grassy area, also known as Seminole
Electric. Suddenly, Dab and the rest of us heard from a loudspeaker, “This
is Seminole Electric! Clear the property!” Ben Gay swore he heard, “This is
Seminole Electric! Ben Gay put that tube-steak away!” The trail w ound
around the edge of the property, and wouldn’t you know it, it was Harelip
Dogg who had cut through the middle of the grass and swam laps in the big
grassy puddles. At some point in time, we came up to a decision point and
SNOT took 5,000 hashers into the trees, just to holler “Bad trail” and turn
us all back around. So all 5,000 of us wankers went in the other direction
and did not find any powder. What the hell? SNOT got publicly pissed-on as
the trees were the right way to go; apparently he had been smoking crack.
Wanna Earn An A found a pair of scissors and hooked them onto her lanyard.
We didn’t have to worry about her as all teachers know how to run with
scissors. The harriers were worried however, because she also knows how to
cut balls off of a gnat while blindfolded.
While approaching the beer stop after running 469 miles, Just Cowboy Brian
started making up country song verses which were quite catchy; I think he
was close to creating a new hash song…
You got a gun, I got a penis,
And the dog is right behind you.
If you use your penis,
I’ll think about calling you tomorrow.
We all convened behind a Wal-Mart for the beer check, and Bamma Mate from
St. Louis tore up to the beer stop with a nice young gentleman pushing her
in a shopping cart. Craig was the name on his Wal-Mart name tag, and Bamma
had found him in the parking lot clearing the carts…she asked for a cart and
a ride she got! …he doesn’t work there anymore!
We all made it to the finish but not before watching Ben Gay go down on
himself in the water on the drainage area on Dale Mabry. Room Service with
hands on her hips was giving him the stink eye as he was trying to find his
shoe he lost in the water. Toss’ shoes must have felt like lead, as she went
into the water with her ho-shoes on and they were filled immediately up to
her knees. At Circle Camel Jockey and Harelip were deloused and much beer
was consumed. A visitor, Tooth Fairy won the hash and Ben Gay received the
brainless award for going down on himself when his beautiful wife was within
reach. Gee, which would YOU pick? I’m not sure why Pleasure Chest and Wanna
we re laying on the concrete with their hands in their crotches, but it
looked like something I knew how to do so I joined them. Wankers drank out
of the butts of ducks and Ripley (a.k.a. Red Fiery Crotch Rocket) was
sucking up the cheesy balls Harelip dropped from his holey pants. Blow jobs
and tie-offs were offered and the pack moved on to searching for more beer,
food and karaoke.
As I reached the bottom of my notes that I scribbled on trail, I saw a
notation NOT in my handwriting; “B+ on hand writing.” What the fuck, chuck!
I do see that it is a harriette’s handwriting and I’ll find you, you wanker!
On-On!
Casual Friday
Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Run #400
Saturday, August 2nd,
2008
Where: Meet in the Bealls parking lot, in the Colonial Promenade Shopping Center, located at 15792 N Dale Mabry Hwy, in Tampa, Florida, 33624.
When: Meet at 5:00 PM, on trail at 6:00 PMish.
Directions: Click
Go north on Dale Mabry for about 10 miles and find Bealls on the left at Northdale Blvd.
From I-275 & Dale Mabry, in Central Tampa:
From Wesley Chapel, to the north: Go south on I-75, south on I-275, west on Bearss, north on Dale Mabry and find the Bealls on the left at Northdale Blvd.
From St. Pete, to the south:
From Brandon, to the east:
From Clearwater, to the west:
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Hares: Dabadoo (Flounder) and GayRodeoClown (his wench) will be the hares.
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Cost: $5
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On After: The on after will be at the Cornerstone Pub, located at 3895 Northdale Blvd, in Tampa, Florida 33624, where they will have karaoke. They will be running two specials for us (10 wings for $3.00 and $5.00 pictchers of Bud Light). To get there from the starting location, go south on Dale Mabry for .1 mile, right on Northdale for .2 miles and find the Cornerstone Pub on the right. Click here for a map.
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Phone Number: For more information, or in case you get lost, call our mobile phone at 813-943-4855.