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Jolly Roger H3 of the Tampa Bay Metro Area Run #401 Thursday, August 7th, 2008 |
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Hash Trash
The Pack
gathered for another shiggy-licious trail, promised by Harelip Dogg and
myself, Casual Friday. We lost some princesses from the last heavy-shiggy
trail, but gained a fine group of new victims! While seeing the usual hearty
FRBs and short-cutters; we knew we still had a great chance of remaining
snareless due to our haring trickery we've mastered. After a week of trail
time trials, Hare watches were synchronized and we took off…at least one of
us did, I looked behind me and saw Harelip draw another mug of beer from the
keg and offer tips to GRC for chalk talk.
From a hare's point of view, I tried to ignore all the horrified looks from
the parents of children practicing football, cheerleading, and eating
Twinkies in the park; as I blew right through them laying white powdery
stuff in the field for their little ones to roll around in. Harelip caught
up to me with his 69-foot long legs and we found the opening to the
woods. We turned into the shiggy as I had visions of the pack screaming, "Oh
shit, not again!" I tugged on my toilet paper and started reaching for
branches while Harelip blew ahead (he wouldn't tell me whose it was). He
jumped the fence to lay the runners' trail while I continued to lay the
Turkey Trail; we met at the beer stop. We refueled our flour bags and
pressed on. I laid my usual hiding of powder to trick the FRBs into check
backs while Harelip laid 6,000 ladies' checks for the runners. Near the
finish, my co-hare slapped my butt while I was bending down drawing "BN" on
the road. Does that mean I've been snared?
I was told Portopussy blew through a Bad Trail, just to get to the beer
check/hash halt. Nice try Porto, smart hares plan for runners such as you!
On another note, Dogg Fucker stood at the BT thinking it meant "beer truck,"
while hearing the pack down the road at the actual hash halt/beer stop. Just
Erik made it to the beer stop first, even after waiting for the harriettes
to catch up to clear a ladies' check or two. The pack received another
written clue in order to find the second half of trail, read by Gay Rodeo
Clown. They figured out the clue quickly and continued.
My pen couldn't write fast enough to keep track of the bazillion ladies'
checks on trail. Some boobs were flashed and some checks were solved; I was
told it was a group effort among Wanna Earn An A, GRC and Hockey Phuck. The
runners' shiggy was so dense; Taint Tickler thought he was back in Okinawa.
The pack hit the fence obstacle which separated the GI Joes from the Peter
Pans. Wanna tried 69 times and gave up; she walked around the fence to a
secret hole we made for Peter Pans. Dogg Fucker gave it his military might
and caught his jewel sack at the top of the fence; just to be on his back
again on the ground. Camel Jockey called upon his ultimate martial arts
skills to get over the fence; I understand he fell off and broke a bucket.
He said it was okay because he used his skills to roll off of the pieces of
the bucket quickly. The pack had a creek to cross, so Dildo Diva being the
hearty Princess that she is ran around the 30-mile-long creek and caught up
with the pack.
Just Jerry was the FRB at finish, I do believe he was the first walker
awarded the FRB since I've been hashing with the Jolly
Rogers! Just Jerry got mad at Just Jimmy for not telling him walkers could
win the hash. Here's your chain!
Just Jerry might be spared from carrying the chain on trail at the next JR
hash because GRC perjured herself about carrying the 10,069 pound chain on
trail this time. Lightening was applauded for having 40 hashes; and Just
Jeff and Lucky Strike drank for being gone too long. It was pointed out that
the last time anyone saw Lucky, he was escorting a drunken American Indian
midget into a tent a few weeks ago. Two hashers drank in circle trail trial
for being Whipped Dicks (they were TOLD to put thumbs down by some hater)
and Lucky brought trail treasure to the circle (he found a fork in the
road). The brainless award nominations went to Septic for not ever
getting the award (dude, you really do not want this one!), Dogg Fucker for
leaving a testicle on the fence post, and Camel Jockey for use of his
martial art skills. It was close, but Camel Jockey drank out of the skull.
Wanna
gave Major Destroyer a 169-minute blow job and Just Jimmy finally received
his hash name. After the local news got a hold of him getting his
finger stuck in a lock
at a Dairy Queen, he is now and forever known as "Finger in the Queen."
It doesn't get much better than that!
On-On!
Casual Friday
Hash Clue
On pavement or shiggy
This trail is shitty!
But the hares don’t care.
They don’t need to be fair.
If you don’t like the trail, it’s no biggie.
You’re only half-way there
On your trail to no-where
Runner’s back’s to the fence
Walker’s to shiggy that’s dense
For more chances to snare a live hare
So that was your clue
The hares? They’re no fool
Their haring is sleazy
They won’t make it easy
Go sniff out trail or you’re screwed!
~ Harelip & Casual
Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Run #401
Thursday, August 7th,
2008
Meet in the vacant lot behind the Interbay Meat Market, located at 6110 Interbay Blvd, in South Tampa, Florida. Its across the street from Sky View Park.
Where:
When:
Directions:
-
From I-275 & Dale Mabry, in Central Tampa: Go south on Dale Mabry for about 6 miles, left, or west on Interbay for .9 miles and find the vacant lot just past Martindale, on the right.
From Wesley Chapel, to the north: Go south on I-75, south on I-275, south on Dale Mabry for about 6 miles, left, or west on Interbay for .9 miles, and find the vacant lot just past Martindale, on the right.
From St. Pete, to the south:
From Brandon, to the east:
From Clearwater, to the west:
Hare:
Cost:
On After: