Plenty of hashers flocked to Ybor City for the Dress Like a Nerd hash, hared by our own Gritty Kitty and Rear-end Loader from Washington D.C. It was perfect timing to dress like a nerd since Ybor City was having a Cuban Street Festival! Wankers circled up while Virgin Corey and Virgin Ginger watched Stretchy Bits and Rectal Roommate stretch each other’s stuff (there’s a visual). That was a good queue for Aerobics Master Gritty to start us off with some basic stretching moves that would help us ease through the beer stops. She bestowed her hoola hoop upon Backdoor’s neck, as he was the last FRB.

As we had moved through the street fair, Crossing Guard Whiney Bitch practiced safety first and kept us all out of trouble; for a few blocks. Trouble showed up when Naughty Call Girl cleared a decision point in two opposite directions; we knew she’d be drinking out of a skull later on. The first beer stop was a 1,069 mile stretch, and GRC raced our Whining crossing guard to the beer van. Leave it to Beaver took time between beer chugs to re-adjust his 12 strap-ons; he couldn’t remember which one monitored his erection level. After some geeky stretches, the pack was off again.
Sporting snug Urkel-like purple pants, Just Deryk made a new friend from a high-rise condo patio who whistled at him and tossed down his phone number. Our Whiney crossing guard kept the pack moving past the condo pervert (I think Whiney was jealous). After Virgin 4 Life showed us his latest pole dancing skills, and Choice of a New Penetration donned a baby’s hat, we found the second beer stop. Pen was kind enough to sweep for the DFL candidates. Security allowed Whiney Bitch to use the “portable john” (hash name?) normally reserved for construction folks; I think the orange crossing guard vest impressed the security officer.

Finish was reached 1,690,069 miles later, the crossing guard won the FRB (figures!), blowjobs were given, and sure enough--Naughty Call Girl won the beer tossing game, played with the brainless award. Virgins entertained us, Justs and visitors were welcomed, and prizes were awarded for “Best Nerd,” “Best Naughty Catholic School Girl,” and “Best Nerd Overall.” Purple-panted Just Deryk won a chess-set and a pervert’s phone number as the BNO.

Wankers swung-low and got a piece.

On-On,
Casual Friday