The hares are Cas-u-al and Snatch Cakes

Hares like this, a real shitty trail makes

We’ll pretend to like it

It’s an art to psych it

Like the orgasms Cas-u-al fakes


REPEAT AFTER ME:

Bless these hares
Bless this trail
Coppus no catch us
Doggus no bite us
Coitus No Interrupt us

In the name of
The Flour
The Fun
And The Holy Run

ON OFF!

Jolly Roger H3 Hash Trash
Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Hares: Casual Friday and Clittle Debbie Snatch Cakes (virgin hare)

PRE-CIRCLE: Snatch Cakes and I pre-laid trail using 569 pounds of flour, and special temporary bright orange marking paint for the evil shiggy sections of trail. It rained while we pre-laid, however we were spared the monsoons of past hashes; so we figured our flour balls would remain intact for the pack. As the beer van was a bit late, I set down a cooler filled with 69 Jell-O shots for the early bird wankers, as a good hare always cums prepared! The pack showed up in various stages of dress; seemed they paid attention to the extreme shiggy terrain email warning. Just Vicki and Lost My Balls showed up in full combat gear while Always the Bull showed up in her bikini and water wings; she was ready for the water crossing. I also spied one pair of new shoes whose owner was in for a big surprise. On-On popped out of the beer van styling in his little yellow raincoat; he was ready for a wet trail. I gave the pack chalk talk and made special note of the new marking material so they would know what to look for; as it was not a day for toilet paper. It was a good thing Snatch Cakes and I ran with the pack on trail as the FRBs were too busy sucking on Jell-O shots and other things during chalk talk. Hey, ya can lead a horse to water...

ON-OUT! After a few wrong turns, the over-zealous front-runners calmed down and started paying attention to finding balls of pasty flour and listening to my whistles. They got smart and hung back a bit; I knew they figured they would stick with the hare as I knew the trail. While that seemed like a good plan, they failed to remember that I knew where the bad trails were as well. They also underestimated my ability to act, and did not pick up on the pattern of when I “got a side-cramp” and had to walk. Duh! As I led them down all the bad trails, I received a few dirty looks and comments that were not new to me. After all, they all should know by now it is my duty as the hare to f*ck the FRBs and keep the pack together, dead or live! Snatch Cakes was hanging with the turkeys, pointing out flour for them as they are usually too busy chatting away to notice trail. The beer stop was a hash halt, and by that time, the pack was soaked from the rain. I am not sure what the heck happened with Lost My Balls, but he emerged from the woods covered in burrs. The silly boy was ranging and I must say I admire his zest for snaring hares on a dead trail.

While the trail had been on black top, the shiggy section was just ahead of the beer stop. Most wanks were proud of themselves for crossing the water over the wooden pallet without incident despite the bottleneck that the ladies’ check produced. Two minutes later, the pack was armpit-deep in a bog, disguised as a shallow creek. Always the Bull ran full-force into the water and sunk up to her neck, and the vacuum of the bog sucked a virgin’s jeans right off her hips; nice thong by the way! Purity of a Hooker thought she had a better way to cross and found her boobs under water. We lost Porto-pussy; we were not sure if his scuba gear helped him or hindered him through the mud. Head Plant Vaina was being the team player and thought he had the best way through the swamp. I am here to say, there was no “best way” unless you could fly. A few princesses spent time squeaking themselves through a locked fence to avoid getting muddy. This was a priceless idea as Wanna Earn An A got her crotch stuck and rode the pole for a while and Gay Rodeo Clown got her boobs in a jam. I have to ask Shot By A Whore how the hell he got through the fence; it had to be good.

The trail then wound around the water and led the pack through the woods. Led by GatorAte. If the Jell-O sucking FRBs were paying attention, they would not have run around the woods for 169 hours looking for toilet paper. So I allowed them to run around for a while until my whistle brought them to the elevated railroad tracks. When they reached CB13, they realized they missed the obvious turn-off into the corporate park. The trail had calmed-down for the final approach and brought all wankers in to Finish, more than ready for some beer.

CIRCLE: There were a lot of smiles and laughter from a very soaked pack. Some were muddier than others, and some were bloodier than others; but it was all good! Trail trial brought in only a few disgruntled wanks into circle; I am assuming those few people missed the Jell-O shots. Just Alessandra bitched that she was going to have a rash for weeks, and with the packs’ suggestion she was instantly named; “Rash for Weeks.” Just Wayne drank for not running trail on his birthday as he spent his hash time in the bar with Dog Fucker, waiting for circle. he pantless burr-boy, Lost My Balls received the FRB award and Gator Ate My Penis received the Brainless Award. It made perfect sense that Gator drink out of the skull; being the Religious Advisor he should have checked in with the Rain Gods to hold off on the rain during the last two hashes. After a quick brainstorming session under umbrellas, Just Tamy received her hash name, “Toyz in the Hood.” An Arc was built and the hash got a piece.

ON-ON!
Casual Friday

 

Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Run #463
Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

When: Meet at Good Time Charlies, located at 4030 W Waters Ave, in Tampa, Florida.

When: Meet at 6:30 PM, on trail at 7:30 PM sharp!

Directions: Click here for a map.

From Wesley Chapel, to the north: Go south on I-75, south on I-275 for 10.9 miles, right, or west on E Busch/FL-580 at Exit 50, for 3.4 miles, left, or south on Dale Mabry Hwy/FL597, for 1 mile, right, or west on Waters for .4 miles and find Good Time Charlie's on the left.

From I-275 & Dale Mabry Hwy, to the south, in Central Tampa: Go north on Dale Mabry for 4.9 miles, left, or west on Waters for .4 miles and find Good Time Charlies on the left.

From I-75 & I-4, to the east: Go west on I-4 for 9.1 miles, south on I-275 for 3.6 miles, north, or right on Dale Mabry Hwy for 4.9 miles, left, or west on Waters for .4 miles and find Good Time Charlies on the left.

From Clearwater, the West: Go east on FL60, north on the Veteran's Expressway for 3.8 miles, right on east on Waters, at Exit 6A, for 2.1 miles and find Good Time Charlies on the right.

Remarks: Bring crappy shoes and your zest for Jell-O shotz.

Hares: CasualFriday & SnatchCakes will be the hares.

Cost: $6 donation.

On After: The on after will be at Good Time Charlies, back at the start.

Phone Number: For more information, or in case you get lost call or mobile phone at 813-943-4855.