Jolly Roger H3 Hash Trash
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Hares: Lost My Balls & Dead Man Cumming

Once again, the pack gathered in the rain to welcome 3 male virgins to the hashing fold. Just Tabatha brought her some beefcake she picked up at the DMV (Virgin Brian), Just Liz brought Andrew (he is a hashing natural!) and Virgin Matt brought himself, but he confessed to knowing many hashing Harriettes ( you know who you are Wanna). The hares were covered in pink strawberry-smelling paste from pre-lay, as they mixed red sugared Kool-Aid with flour to pre-lay the wet trail. One drawback, we all know how ants love sugar!

ON-OUT!
The rain subsided so umbrellas were left in cars and the pack ran off zigzagging around large puddles. I learned from last week if I stomp in big puddles to get a co-wanker wet, most of the water rushed up the legs and gave the crotch a dirty-puddle- rinse instead; so I zigzagged as well. While Gator was running with his self-imposed “GatorAte Memorial chain” (I think even his Mom barfed on this one) he was bitching about having to give up the chain because he won’t make the next hash. So I stomped in a puddle just to get my mind off hearing his racist complaints. A haring pattern soon developed, all shiggy with factor 4+ was Bad Trail and most of us figured that out early-on. While some wanks were attempting to whiz down a wet children’s slide in the school yard, the rest of the pack were milling about looking for sugary powder. I saw the beer van straight ahead; so rather than being a racist and winning the beer stop, I stopped and called to the pack while pointing my elbow to the beer stop; talk about a professional sandbagger! I laughed when I saw 6+ wankers race to the beer stop as if there was a cash prize! I noted there would be more than just two racing dorks drinking for that event in circle as I welcomed Surfin’ 4 Snapper into THAT fold!

CIRCLE UP!
A wet pack we were while watching 3 virgin hashers entertain us! Virgin Andrew gave us a quick joke, Virgin Matt sang us a made-up hash song (A+ for effort!) and Virgin Beefcake, I mean Brian, reminded us old folks how to do “The Worm.” GatorAte challenged him to a worm-off and lost by 69 body lengths; guess THAT story won’t be getting back to mommy. Rectal performed the virgin demo down-down and the virgins downed the beer like they’ve been schooled by a few harriettes. Hashers were tied, Ed the Sock for 25 hashes and I’ll Take ‘Em Both tied up in a pink 69. Late cummers were brought into circle, Yeast Infection, Goolight Special and her beasts; A for effort--at least they came late rather than not cum at all, right HPV, U-Drive, Likes To Watch and Backdoor? Dab cleansed the skull and Just Tabatha was voted in as the hash brainless, despite the hares making the 2 strollers go through shiggy with factor 69+. There is a list of reasons why Just Tabatha won, however the largest one was totaling her car on the way home from a hash. I was going to give her enough bonus points to even out the brainless win for bringing beefcake to the Jolly Rogers, but then I would end up in circle sucking on the skull with her. What fun would THAT be without Jell-O?

Just Liz showed us her heart trampstamp and formulated some statistics for us while showing off for her naming. She then took the other hash no-namers and climbed the school yard fence to get out of ear shot, as the ceremony was top secret. Many names were created due to her favorite sexual position being on the kitchen counter top, however Puppy pulled out a fantastic suggestion that had to do with her outrageous mathematical skills. Just Liz is now and henceforth, forever until we decide to change it, to be known as “Math Sucks Let’s F*ck!”

The hash sang Swing Low in double time as the park gate was closing and we were about to be locked-in for the night. Just Jill’s blowjob was given at the on-afters by Whiney Bitch and it was quite obvious Whiney enjoyed the honor.

On-On!
Casual Friday
 

Jolly Roger H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Runs #476
Wednesday, July 8th, 2009
 

Where: Meet in the Town-N-Country Park, located at 7002 W Hanna Ave, in Tampa, Florida. Meet on the frisbee golf side near the rec building.

When: Meet at 6:30 PM, on trail at 7:30 PM sharp!

Where: Click here for a map.

From Hwy 54 & N Dale Mabry, in Land O' Lakes, to the north: Go south on N Dale Mabry Hwy for 4.3 miles. Take Hwy 589 Toll Road S Ramp for 3.4 miles to the Veterans Expressway. Continue on the Veteran's Expressway for 9.7 miles. Go right, or west on Hillsborough Ave, at Exit 4, for 1 mile. Go right, or north on Hanley Rd for .5 miles. Go right on Hanna Ave, for .2 miles and find the Town-N-Country Park on the right.

From Gandy Blvd & I-275, in St Pete, to the south: Go north on I-275 for 11.2 miles. Go north on the Veteran's Expressway, for 1.7 miles. Go left, or west on Hillsborough Ave, at Exit 4, for 1 mile. Go right, or north on Hanley Rd for .5 miles. Go right on Hanna Ave, for .2 miles and find the Town-N-Country Park on the right.

From I-275 & I-4, from Central Tampa, to the east: Go south on I-275 for 5.2 miles. Go north on the Veteran's Expressway, at Exit 39, for 3.5 miles. Go left, or west on Hillsborough Ave, at Exit 4, for 1 mile. Go right, or north on Hanley Rd for .5 miles. Go right on Hanna Ave, for .2 miles and find the Town-N-Country Park on the right. Or, you could go north on I-275 for 2.5 miles, left on Hillsborough, at Exit 47B, for 6.7 miles, right, or north on Hanley Rd for .5 miles. Go right on Hanna Ave, for .2 miles and find the Town-N-Country Park on the right.

From Clearwater, to the west: Go east on Hwy 60 across Tampa Bay. Go left, or north on the Veteran's Expressway, for 1.4 miles. Go left, or west on Hillsborough Ave, at Exit 4, for 1 mile. Go right, or north on Hanley Rd for .5 miles. Go right on Hanna Ave, for .2 miles and find the Town-N-Country Park on the right.

From Oldsmar, to the northwest: Go southeast on Tampa Rd/Hillsborough Blvd until you get to Hanley Rd. Go left, or north on Hanley Rd for .5 miles. Go right on Hanna Ave, for .2 miles and find the Town-N-Country Park on the right.

Trail: Shiggy socks recommended. This is going to be a typical Lost My Balls trail, so bring a compass. Nobody will get wet unless they want to. Shiggy will be easy to navigate, nothing crazy.

Hares: LostMyBalls and DeadManCuming will be the hares.

Cost: $6 donation.

On After: The on after will be at Charann's, located at 6821 West Hillsborough Ave, in Tampa, Florida. Click here for a map of Charann's. To get there from the starting location, go right, on Hanna for .1 mile, right on Sawyer for .6 miles and find Charann's on the left, just prior to Hillsborough.

Phone Number: For more information, or in case you get lost, call our mobile phone at 813-943-4855.

Printable Copy: Click here for a black & white printable copy of this information.