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Hare Blessings
.
Here's to Casual Friday, our hare for
tonight.
She promises this trail to be a doggie delight.
Stroller are welcome too.
They won't get stuck in no goo.
And they'll even put doggie bowls out at the on after.
Repeat After Me.
Bless this hare.
Bless this trail.
Coppus no catch us.
Doggus no bite us.
In the name of the dogs,
the stroller,
and the holy rollers.
On Off...
Dab
Hash Trash
CJRH3 Hash
#481 Hash Trash
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Hare: Casual Friday
Wanks came from far and wide to participate in the urban void-of-shiggy
trail. After chalk talk was given by the Hash Tard (me), it was obvious
wanks should simply stick together on trail. Four virgin men (yay, men!)
were introduced, canines were watered down, and infants were strapped to
their mothers’ teats. While I received my blessing from Dabadoo, Rectal
Roommate was having a doggy-style threesome with a blonde and a brunette – a
bit disrespectful during church, but who am I to judge.
ON-OUT
Within 100 yards of start, I had laid a bright yellow package check, hoping
most wanks would see some action; too bad all harriers blew through it; the
rat bastards. After wankers pounded sidewalk after sidewalk to find the end
of the first CB69, Lost My Balls turned to ranging and the pack attempted to
find true trail through the park. While the walkers investigated every
obvious check-back in the park thanks to Just Jill’s virgins leading the
walkers, Caught From Behind and Bangs Her Mash joined Arrr-U and I at a top
secret beer check. We drank to “We’re the best, f*ck the rest!” and off they
went to pound some more pavement and beat some more meat, while I went
shopping at Sweet Bay for some sausage and cases of water (one of the perks
to laying a dead trail and driving the beer van).
Rumor has it More Sex and Dibbs on the Couch were stalking some local
teenaged soccer dudes in the park; I saw photos and they were HOT. More Sex
had her Michael Jackson glove on, but I think the harriettes would have
gotten a piece or two if the gloved hand wasn’t attached to a stroller. Once
again, the racists Bangs and CFB joined me at the hash halt beer stop, and
it wasn’t too long before the rest of the pack arrived. The second heat of
racists (Balls and Saigon Sally) were standing at the whichy-way, waiting
for me to give them their blessing so they could attempt to beat the beer
truck to the finish. I gave all wankers a hint and told them the right arrow
was “more interesting” and saw a few stares of disbelief; yet they went for
it. What I didn’t mention, was taking the arrow on the right made it more
interesting for me to watch their sorry asses cross the water to get to the
true trail, which was the left arrow.
ON-IN
While I watched Sempre Bi straddle the water dam near the 2nd beer check, it
was no wonder that she immediately settled into her “I'm tired chair” upon
reaching Finish. The virgins reached On-In and started practicing their
entertainment while we all waited for the two DFLs to arrive, Camel Jockey
and Where’s My Goat. Since I had my disco-light cup and it was getting dark,
I was ready to head out and sweep; however Dick Fibri-laid-her took his
whistle and set out after them; we knew he was comfortable giving them
mouth-to-mouth, just in case the wanks were in trouble. Just 5 minutes
passed and the 2 DFLs showed up to Circle from the opposite direction and
left Dick out there to dangle in the dark with his whistle and no one to
blow.
CIRCLE UP
I am not certain why there were 69 wankers in the circle for shitty
trail—they all got what they came for. They got beer, they got boobies, they
got a chance at a package check, no coppus caught us, no rain soaked us, and
they got their 169 check backs that I always promise. On top of that, no one
was in any danger of getting festering crotch diseases in his or her
eyes--but I drank for a shitty trail anyway. We were entertained by watching
69 versions of the chicken dance by the virgins; despite Taint Tickler
yelling out “dicks out for the boys.” Even though Bangs and CFB battled it
out for FRB nerd status, Balls won the hash. Religious Advisors were
honored, as well as JRH3 returning visitors; Camel Jockey got to drink
special for cumming the furthest (Bahrain). We witnessed two of the longest
blow jobs we’ve ever seen (not including Whiney Bitch and Just Jill), and
CFB was tied up for 125 hashes. Apparently, it was the night to go
incognito, as more wanks drank for not wearing hash gear, than those who did
wear hash attire. I did appreciate the half-nekkid harriers, but not enough
that they got out of their non-hash gear down-downs. Shot by a Whore was
trolling for tuna as he showed up fashionably late wearing a suit, and we
honored a long-time returner, See Spot Cum. Taint Tickler cleansed the
brainless skull with scotch, and 1,069 wankers were nominated for the
brainless award. After sifting through the masses, it all boiled down to the
story of Rectal Roommate rolling around on the grass straddled by a
pantiless hoochie-mama, and he didn’t get her phone number or remember her
name. Despite that being acceptable hash behavior, he was the favorite,
hands-down, and collected donations for the brainless award. While the JRH3
hash does not push excessive drinking, we allowed Rectal to bathe in the
generous beverage donations and filled the skull with cheesy balls instead,
for his down-down. Since his shirt was wet and his balls were dry, More Sex
came to the rescue and added her own personal donation by squeezing off some
of her own breast milk to cover Rectal’s balls. Within seconds, all harriers
were lined-up for their turn of some of THAT action. After a song, Rectal
ate his own balls and everyone was entertained.
The wanks were sweaty, smelly and tired, yet we all got a piece.
On-On!
Casual Friday
Jolly Roger
H3 Where:
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Runs #481
Wednesday, July 29th, 2009
Meet behind
the GTE Credit Union, in the Town Center Shopping Plaza, located at 4802
Gunn Hwy, in Tampa, Florida.
When:
From I-275 & Dale Mabry Hwy, in Central Tampa:
From Wesley Chapel, to the north:
From St. Pete, to the south:
Go north on I-275 across
Tampa Bay. Take the Veteran's Expressway northbound, at Exit 39B,
for 4.4 miles. Take the left exit for Anderson Road, at Exit 6B. Go
left, or north on Anderson Road for 1.8 miles. Go right on Gunn Hwy
for 1.3 miles and find The GRE Credit Union on the right.
From Temple Terrace, to the east:
Go west on Busch, which becomes Gunn Hwy after crossing Dale Mabry,
travel about 2.5 miles on Gunn Hwy and find the GTE Credit Union on
the left.
From Temple Terrace, to the east: Go west on Busch, which becomes Gunn Hwy after crossing Dale Mabry, then travel about 2.5 miles on Gunn Hwy and find the GTE Credit Union on the left.
From Clearwater, to the west:
Hare:
Phone Number:
Receding Hareline: