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Jolly Roger
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Hare Blessings
.
Congratulations Dab, now you're old
Don't worry its not the years I'm told
It is jsut the miles
Too bad you have piles
81 hashes since last year rolled
REPEAT AFTER ME:
Bless this old fart
Bless this trail
Coppus no catch us
Old age no hobble us
In the name of the flour
The fun
And the holy run
On off!
Gator
Hash Trash
JRH3
Hash Trash
September 9, 2009
Hare: Dabadoo
Wankers young and old donned pirate birthday hats in honor of Dabadoo’s
birthday. We had our share of virgins, gone-too-longs and petite wankers.
Taint Tickler entertained the pack by changing his clothes in the circle and
gave us an interpretive dance in his red banana hammock. I will never be the
same as I gouged my eyes out with my whistle. Leprecock (past FRB) breathed
a sigh of relief as Taint Tickler’s young girlfriend, Just Erik sported the
FRB chain awarded at a previous Adventure Hash. Dab gave us the longest
chalk talk I had ever listened to in my life; there went 1,069 hours I
cannot get back. I endured by pouring a Bud Light to get through it.
ON-OUT!
Wanks ran around the corner from Start, and the game began! Trail took us
through barking dogs and noisy kids on scooters as two young boys chased
Taint Tickler down a sidewalk. Apparently, their Mom and Dad never taught
them “stranger danger.” While chugging along, out popped Lost My Balls from
the bushes; we all knew he was holding out on getting to circle on time in
order to avoid wearing the chain on trail. It grew dark when we hit the golf
course; noting that the houses were as big as hotels. I thought for sure
golf course security would be called by the hotel security, and we would all
be in the clink. Luck had it, most of us went through without incident and
the race was “on” to the beer stop by the racists. Little did they know Dab
laid the BN sign 6,969 miles from the beer van. Trail took us through a slot
in the fence, some of us fit and some of us not-so-much. The children were
folded up with their strollers and shoved through the fence slot while Lost
My Balls climbed over showing off for the harriettes. While waiting for the
turkeys, Wanna straddled a tree log at the beer stop and entertained Rectal
Roommate with an interpretive dance of her own. You know the bark-rash
between her thighs will keep her out of circuit for a couple of days. The
rest of trail was ran in the dark, thank goodness for streetlights, as they
brought us all on-in.
CIRCLE UP!
Trail trial was a social, I think the Pack simply wanted to drink. The
voluptuous Phuk-Pocket volunteered her time as Beer Angel and kept us all
properly lubed. Cheesy Balls and Just Kaz were passed around like hot
potatoes and virgins entertained us with jokes that should be banned from
all hash circles around the globe. Dibbs collected chalk and the
chalk-sucker claimed his chalk dissolved in the crack of his hairy
swamp-ass; as if anyone was going to check if he was lying. Free blow jobs
were doled-out and I almost lost my sarong. A special birthday surprise
present was given to a lucky wank who was wearing his/her birthday hat and
just happened to be in the position of 69. Breaths were held and; Yay for
me! I was the lucky 69er (I knew that position would pay-off at some point
in time)! I won a Dabadoo-fanny pack, and now I can be just like him. The
FRB award was given to Taint, and his girlfriend spooged on his head. Taint
continued the “Double-T Show” by announcing to the pack that he was wearing
new shoes. He and Just Matt sucked down a bruski out of their new beverage
vessels, and I know Taint closed his eyes and pretended it was a 3-tiered
butt chug. I Be Smart was tied for 125 hashes who is catching up to GRC who
got tied up for 275 hashes. Leprecock received his 10th JRH3 hash headband
and all multiple cummers drank a down-down. Nominations were taken for the
brainless award, and the “Double-T Show” won hands-down for the banana
hammock show in circle as well as announcing his new shoes. Taint proved to
be a princess as he refused to chew on his own balls and threw them onto the
pavement. Just Madeline lead the pack with Swing Lo and Disturbia won
herself some new pre-lubed shiggy guards; she’s sure to get a piece this
Saturday.
On-On,
Casual Friday
Jolly Roger
H3
of the Tampa Bay Metro Area
Runs #492
Dab's B-Day Hash
Wednesday, September 9th, 2009
Where: Meet in the left, rear parking lot of the Press Box Sports Emporium, located at 222 S Dale Mabry, Tampa, in Florida.
When:
Directions:
From I-275 & I-4, in Central Tampa:
From Wesely Chapel, to the north:
From MacDill AFB/South Tampa, to the south:
From St. Pete, to the west:
From Orlando, from the east:
From Brandon, to the south:
Remarks:
Cost:
On After:
Hare:
Phone Number: