I got out of bed at 6:30 at night to go to Walmart in my usual going out clothes. I needed to pick up some Swisher Sweets cigars. I made a wrong turn and ended up in the Target parking lot. Then I spotted him....the most beautiful butt crack and bare stomach I'd ever seen. He said "Hi I'm Rectal Roomate." I was instantly in love. I needed to be where he was. I was told I was at something called a hash. I loved me some corn beef hash so I thought "Hell why not?". I was confused when they brought out the flour but I figured it was French corn beef hash or something. Then all of a sudden he started running so I went after him. I tried to catch him but I could not. A nice lady (I think her name was Humper) offered to push me in the Walmart cart she found in the ditch but it wasn't gonna be fast enough. I felt desperate and confused. In fact right before I got to Target I saw a guy throwing flour out of his car down the road. I didn't understand why the flour was coming out of the car why the drivers name was Taxi but not the car. I was hot, sweaty, and tired. Was Rectal Roomate worth all this? Then I saw another man wearing a shirt that looked like a beer. His name was Plug N Grub and with his sensual Alabama accent he made me forget about Rectal Roomate all too quickly. Then he started running. Damn! There was this lady On Ahead and a man named Spreadcheeks they were hankering for some Swisher Sweets too so we gave up and went to 7-11. After that I was happy smokin' my cigars following a Puppy. At the end I saw my Plug N Grub and then we finally....

(Alarm Clock Sounds)

Inda Linda abruptly awoke from her nightmare. Trying to sort things she thought to herself "I would hate to live in a world where I choose any one over my sweet Rectal Roomate. Why was hashing new to me? Corn beef hash is disgusting!". Shaken she then got in her car, pajamas and all, to go pick up some Swisher Sweets at Walmart.

Thanks to Rusty Pipes and Taxidermiphiliac for last nights trail. Also thanks to Ship Wrecktum for RA-ing, Urine for On- Sec-ing, YMCA, Goes Down Easy, and Spicy for Beer Angeling.

On-I love that this phone auto corrects all my dirty words to hash names-On,

Inda Linda