Jolly Roger H3
The below is a list of lessons learned (hopefully anyway) of past hare f*ck ups. If you are about to hare, look them over and try not to make the same mistakes.
Tell the truth about whether your trail will be "live", "semi-live", or complete "dead, pre-laid". It really pisses off the runners if you tell them you are doing a "live" trail and then it is obvious that you just pretended to be all live. There is no shame in admitting you pre-set portions of your trail. At least you were honest about it and you can still hare off from the start like its live, with the understanding that some of your trail has already been pre-laid.
Always check the websites for the starting location accuracy and do not assume its correct just because "you" knew where "you" meant the start to be. Double check to make sure the web-meister got it correct. And if its wrong let him/her know about it and then re-check it again to make sure it was corrected. The hare(s) is/are ultimately responsible for ensuring their starting location information is correct. The web-meister is only there to help you. Don't blame him/her if the information its not right. Its your job to make sure its right.
You might want to call the local police dispatch office (its up to you) to give them a "courtesy advisory" about a bunch of runners following a trail of flour dots. DO NOT ask permission, as they might say NO. Try to avoid talking to an actual policeman as they might say NO. Just give the on duty dispatcher a heads up advisory and most importantly, "GET THE PERSON's NAME or ID #" that you talked to and share that info with the pack. It may get you out of a jam if stopped while setting trail, or if the po po show up during circle. And, remind the GM to email the HAZMAT Team of same as he/she sometimes forgets. I don't usually call them anymore unless its in downtown Tampa. I think the email to the HAZMAT Team is probably enough, so its up to you if you wan to make the call or not.
Always brief your trail as and A to B. Always, always, always! The whole idea of a hash trail is to "find" the beer at the end. If you say its an A to A trail, then you just took all the mystery out of it and turned it into a race. And, if you are claiming to be setting a "live, or semi-live trail" and you say its and A to A trail, you will probably get caught, because the pack can literally just sit right there at the start and wait for you to come back to catch you, or else short cut trail and catch you before you have a chance to make it back to the start. Often times a pack member or two will ask you if its and A to A trail because they want to know if they should put their own liquor, sarong, kilt, happy coat, etc, in the beer van or leave it in their vehicle. Either tell them its a "close A to B" trail (if its A to A) and they will be able to make it back to their vehicle to retrieve their stuff before circle, or, totally fake them out and tell them to put their stuff in the beer truck. But never, ever, say its an A to A trail! The only time it is generally understood to be an A to A trail is when its a pick up hash.
Always try to pre-set at least some of your trail in advance if you can. We understand this is not always possible due to work schedules. If you don't have enough time to pre-set portions of your trail on the day of the hash, try pre-setting it the day/night before. Of course, this is kind of risky during rainy season. Dead hare/pre-set trails normally make for better trails anyways. Why, because on live hare trails you have to deal with the possibility of getting caught and you don't have time to lay all of the count backs and false trails to their logical end. And there are just so many things you can't do if you set a live trail. If you don't have time to set pre-set your trail, at least pre-set the count backs and maybe some of the false trails. And then be honest and tell us whether is a dead trail, a semi-live trail, or a fully live trail. Nobody cares, really. However, you must realize the difference between pre-set/dead hare trails and live trails. Its like two different kinds of hashes.
If you do set a live or semi-live trail, then don't insult us by putting a beer stop within the first half of trail when nobody is thirsty yet. This just pisses off the runners because once they get their heart beat going they don't want to stop and then start again. If you need more time, just ask for it. 15 minutes used to be the "standard" amount of time for live trails in the JRH3. Over the years, however, the live hares have started thinking more time isn't macho enough, so they've been reducing it down to about 6.9 minutes. Funny, but really? Likewise don't insult us with all those stupid pack slowing antics on trail like, clothing checks, song checks, ladies check, package checks and hash halts at beer stops. Although the guys may honor the ladies check if there's a cute harriett in close chase. On live hare trails most of the pack will just ignore most of these delaying tactics, so why waste your time even setting them on "live or semi-live trails". Those are really meant for pre-set/dead hare trails. If you must have hash halt at a beer stop, then let the pack know up front that this is a "Mid-Western Style Trail" (as Kitty Litter calls them) and you as the hare will need an additional X (5?) minutes to hare away again for a specified amount of time from the beer stop and the beer stop is a neutral zone where the hare cannot be caught while at the beer stop. The pack generally won't blow through beer stops on Mid-Western Style Trails on purpose, but then you run the risk of those hashers who are so intent on catching the live hares that they try to second guess where trail goes (range) and wind up missing the beer stop and then catching between the beer stop and the end.
If you set a "live, or semi-live trail", expect everybody to range, including walkers. There is no rule that says you can't get caught because the pack skipped the beer stop on a live or semi-live trail. If you set your trail "live, or semi-live trail" the pack will take it as a challenge to catch you and will likely skip the beer stop(s) on purpose.
The hare is ultimately responsible for making sure there is beer at the end of the trail. Always preposition a cooler full of beer and bottled water at the end that the pack can get to (not locked up in some walker's vehicle), as you cannot depend upon the beer truck arriving there before the FRBs. If even one hasher gets to the end and there is no beer there, you have failed as a hare, because that's what its all about, finding "the beer at the end", not just finding the end. So don't blame the poor beer truck driver for your f*ck up if there is no beer at the end. It was your job to make sure there was!
Do not count on the normal beer truck to support at a 2nd beer stop (if there is one)! After one beer stop, the been truck needs to get to the end. Preposition the "hare cooler" (normally made available by the Beer Meister) in a 2nd vehicle (or hide it in the bushes) for a 2nd beer stop, if applicable. This really only applies to longer trails on weekends or holidays when we have more time to devote to hashing. Weeknight trails should never have more than 1 beer stop and 1 shot stop. Save those kinds of trails for weekends and holidays.
Do not hold circle at the end in community/apartment/condo pools (only privately owned, secluded pools), as we will absolutely disturb the other residences every time and security or the police will show up and shut us down. If not, then you just got lucky.
When asked if hash cash should be increased to cover your on after plans, always take into account the "extra beer" that will be consumed too, not just food. Otherwise, clearly state the on after is BYOB so people can plan accordingly. Typically, the beer van shuts down about 15-20 minutes after the close of circle at the end. Continued use of hash beer after that will require an increase in hash cash donations unless you will be providing the additional beer. And if you do plan on providing the extra beer, then why not ask for hash cash to be increased to cover your own refundable costs?
Hares should only use white, yellow or light green colored chalk to mark trail. Purple and blue colored chalk is really hard to see, especially at night or if the ground is wet. And, if there is a good chance of rain, only use flour to mark trail and lots of it. Girth is the key. Adding cereal, like Fruit Loops, to the flour helps even more. Forget about using chalk if there is any chance of rain as it washes away immediately! And do not hide marks unless its true trail stemming off of a count back or its a trail coming off of a check. But once true trail becomes obvious, make it "real obvious" to follow. Hiding trail marks behind things like telephone poles, bushes, etc, once it determined that you are on true just pisses off the runners because they have to stop and look around for trail marks. And while doings so, you are just pissing them off as you are ruining their workout. Over exaggerate markings for turkey eagle splits, count backs, BN & SN. This is especially true for BN and SN when you hide a cooler nearby in the bushes or similar. Because, sure enough, nobody will find it if its not at an obvious location. If trail is following a road, put very obvious markings next to the road leading them to where the BS is. Make sure there is no way the pack can miss seeing these marks or sure enough, they will, and then you will probably get mostly thumbs down during circle and probably the Brainless Award as well.
Don't do a count back or false trails across a major street crossing. The pack will assume you weren't ignorant enough to make them cross a dangerous, busy street twice as part of the same count back or check. If trail goes across a busy street make sure its true trail and continues onward for awhile before ever coming back across. And if you do take them across a busy street on false trails and count backs, you will very likely just get the entire pack lost because they probably won't cross back over the dangerous road. Instead they will just range and remain lost.
Don't do a count back that brings the pack back to a check. That's not a count back, that's a YBF (You've Been F*cked). Besides, if you put a count back that comes back to a check there's only about 1 chance in 3 that anybody will even find the trail to a count back mark. And if you're laying a count back, you absolutely want the FRBs to find it, every time, in an effort to bring the pack back together and/or stall the pack out to give you more time to lay trail if you are laying it live. The last dot of a count back automatically becomes a check. So why have it come back to a check. That's redundant and pointless. So, know the difference between a count back and YBF.
Don't do a count back that goes back "past" a check or a true trail/hare arrow (direction arrows "without" the 3 lines through it are Okay though). The count back should never go back to the last check or any further than a true trail arrow. You are almost certain to win the brainless award if you do this.
Don't use package checks unless we're getting 50+ people to the hash every time and we're trying to weed out the easily offended harriett's, because that's what will happen. That's all we need is for some sweet, attractive, young innocent virgin harriett that we're trying to recruit into hashing come up upon some horny looking guy (especially at night) wanting to know if she'd like to see his junk. We've literally seen virgin harrietts get back into heir vehicles and drive off, never to be seen again, because of package checks. Ladies checks, on-the-other-hand, are less threatening and maybe even cute, if the pack is mature enough to handle them correctly. Most guys will not be offended if a harriett chooses to flash in order to get him to solve trail for her, but the guys can't expect it and should never ask for it. At best the guys should say "show or go". The original purpose of a ladies check was to give the ladies the opportunity to catch up with the pack and solve trail, not flash. Somewhere along the line, it became perverted. So, lets try to down play the sexual part of the ladies checks. And don't over use them. If a harriett is going to flash, she'll probably only do it once. I know, some you harrietts are reading this thinking, us women should have equal opportunity. Trust me, if you want to see some guys junk, wait until we are back in circle when the entire pack is present and you'll have plenty of guys to accommodate you.
If you notice hares doing anything particularly stupid and want it listed here, by all means send it to me and I will most likely include it. These notes are continually being modified as the hares continue to f*ck up.
JRH3 Founder & GM + other pack member input